Spiritual
Advice
Holidays
Two pieces by Father John help us remember what is important in life and during the
holy days season. Some Ideas For Celebrating Christmas is a guide to spiritual
sanity in the crush of idealizations and expectations and too many house guests and
the turkey burning. The second piece is Coping With The Holidays , practical
and spiritual suggestions for people living with grief while the world is supposed
to be merry. We offer Father John's advice as an antidote to the holiday madness
that characterizes our society. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Solstice,
Ramadan, or the Festival of Lights, you may find a nugget of universal spiritual
wisdom for our times within the context of the Christian Holy Days. -Editor
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"Jesus is the reason for the season"
-- to receive and share God's love!
What gift of the
Spirit would I like to receive from the Lord this Christmas? Greater patience,
acceptance of myself, willingness to forgive, less judgment of others? Spend some
time in prayer to decide, write it down, and carry the note in your pocket as a reminder
of the gift that will be yours. On Christmas, discard the note, and thank God for
your gift.
Decide what worked well
last holiday, what did not? Make specific plans to make this holiday more meaningful
and write them down. We are not victims of the season.
Write a love note to
include with your gifts, especially family members telling them how much you appreciate
them as a person, the special loving qualities you see in them and your hopes for
them. Or "just" a love note makes a wonderful gift to anyone, especially
to those who serve and help us every day.
Make a list of the persons
you want to pray for and put the list somewhere you will see it often (like the bathroom
mirror).
Remember to pray for
the homeless and hungry of the world, and a better distribution of the world's goods,
too.
Make a list of the people
who have hurt you, people you need to forgive. Think of each one, pray for them.
Near Christmas, tear up the list as a symbol of your letting of the anger and hurt
that do not serve you and keep peace from your heart.
Visit your local bookstore
or library and check out the section of Christmas books. You might find one you want
to read for yourself during the holidays. We want to to nourish our spirit with the
real meaning of Christmas.
Go through family pictures
to renew happy memories and to be more healed of hurts of the past. Set up an altar
with pictures and mementos to remember loved ones.
The holidays are stressful
for us all, and honestly, there is sadness and loneliness in the season. Give lots
of compliments and hugs and smiles each day and share the kindness.
For those we grieve,
write their special qualities and happy times you had with them on slips of paper
and hang them on your Christmas tree or place them nearby where you sit. Light a
candle in memory of the life of your loved one. Put a wreath on their grave or crypt.
Have a tree or bush planted in their memory, or give money to a charity in their
memory and honor.
Keep expectations real
for yourselves and others. We are limited, imperfect beings. Remember in whose memory
and honor we give gifts. Treasure the time you have to ponder the meaning
of Christmas for yourself. Sit and enjoy the Christmas tree, the Christmas music.
Reach out to someone you do not know and ask them about their holidays of the past.
Donate to a charity of
your choice as a gift to loved ones. Some charities will notify the person you donate
in honor of. If not, you can do that yourself. A lot of people appreciate us getting
to the real meaning of Christmas. We have enough "things"!
Savor each bite of food,
notice the Christmas decorations and each little treasure we have. Live in gratefulness.
If you are a Christian, rejoice in God's gift of His Son Jesus to us in a new way.
| Have patience with all the World But first of all with yourself -- Francis DeSales |
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The holidays are
nostalgic, memory times and so we especially miss our loved ones at this time.
And we all have
many losses in our lives, and our losses are a
source of sadness. It's only natural to feel a certain sadness, loneliness, dread
and perhaps, anger. Pretending to feel happy is usually not a good idea. We need
to feel our feelings so we can move onward to "feeling better". It is only
natural that we feel "down" once in awhile, especially during this season.
It's okay to cry and to express our anger (in healthy ways, not hurting others --
for instance, beating on a pillow). We usually feel better after expressing our feelings;
when we suppress ourselves, nothing changes.
Be kind to yourself.
Do what you want to, and try to be free of false guilt that you "should"
do more. You choose what you think is best for yourself after you consider your own
needs and feelings. No Christmas is perfect, because we are all imperfect humans
in an imperfect world.
Create support for your
self. Plan ahead. What worked in the past, what did not? Talk to someone about your
feelings, ask others for their help if you need it -- like with shopping or mailing
cards. People can not guess what you need. And we do not have to be independent about
it all. This season above all, others want to help. Accepting kindness is a gift,
too.
Try to think of others
and include them in your Christmas. Pray for them, do what you can to reach out and
bless others with your presence and your love. A warm smile, and a few minutes of
listening, a loving touch mean very much these days. Try to be aware of the kindness
and goodness of those around you and let them know you are grateful.
Often, we think it is
how much we grieve that signifies how much we loved. Not true! Our love is not measured
by the extent of the grief. The best gift we can give to the person who has died,
is to go on with our lives, enriched because the person lived. They would not want
us to deny ourselves life. and we can come to recognize that every day of life is
precious and worth living to the fullest. That is the best way to prepare for death
ourselves, to truly live as best we can today.
Try not to compare your life to other people's. We might think
others are so much better off and happier, but everyone has their difficulties. Comparing
only adds to our misery. Try not to think of yourself as a "victim" and
take responsibility for your Christmas. Our challenge is to make the best of our
situation with good health attitudes of gratefulness, forgiveness and compassion.
And it's good to recall memories of the past, even if it hurts a little. Our memories
can nourish and sustain us for the present.