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Non-fiction

The Tales of Jim Foreman

A man, his bike and the open roads of the west. The man is Jim Foreman, a natural story teller. He understands adventures are where you find them. He understands the spell of place. West By Northwest.org is proud to introduce our readers to the Garrison Keeeler of the road. Here is one new tale (not yet on his site). We have enjoyed getting to know Jim through his stories and we think you will too. For more, visit http://www.geocities.com/jimforetales/

The Day The Donut Ride Got Arrested


Little did I suspect when Fred Kamp asked if I would lead the Donut Ride the next Saturday, I would be in jeopardy of ending up eating a stale donut in the city jail instead of enjoying a pecan sticky at Brown's Bakery. In retrospect, I really think Fred had a premonition of what was about to happen and suckered me into taking the fall.

The day started out in the usual manner with perhaps thirty eager donut riders gathered in a ragged circle at the park. After they recited their names and got their instructions: stay behind the fastest rider and regroup in the shade of a big tree just after crossing the bridge on 19th Street, the ride was under way.

I assumed the position of leader by staying with the slowest riders as we made our way along the frontage road, dodging drivers bailing off the I-44 exit like Mario Andretti coming into the pits at Indy and past the Hibdon tire store. I could see the riders ahead as they made the turn onto 19th street and crossed over the bridge.

As I came rolling up behind them, I noticed two police cars parked where we usually waited for the slower riders to catch up. One officer was talking with the donut riders and the other one was talking to a little old lady on the porch of the house where we were stopped. She looked like she might have been around for the land run.

"That's him," about half the riders shouted as the pointed at me.

The officer turned and asked, "Are you responsible for these people?"

"Well, I'm the ride leader today but as far as being responsible for...."

"Look at them," shouted the little old lady, shaking a bony finger in the officer's face. "Look at them; they are exposing themselves right now!"

"What seems to be the problem, Officer?" I asked.

"We got a call that people on bicycle stopped in front of her house every Saturday morning and exposed themselves," he replied.

The little old lady ducked under the officer's arm and came busting down the sidewalk like a mad banty hen, the officer hot on her heels. "See how they are dressed in those tight pants, you can see their thangs plain as day. Arrest them all!" she squawked.

The second I arrived, the other cyclists started sneaking away and soon I was the only one left to suffer her wrath. While one officer was trying to shoo her back to the porch where she couldn't get at us with her cane, I explained to the other one why we stopped there. Both the officers were doing their best to keep from laughing as they explained to the lady that was the way bicyclists dressed so I made a suggestion that I figured would solve to the whole problem. "Tell the lady that I apologize if we offended her and in the future, we will stop to regroup further down the street."

As I rode away, both officers were still talking with the little lady and I suppose my offer made her happy because we started stopping a block down the street and never saw her again.

---

Biography

They say you can never go home, which is especially true in my case since I was born in 1928 in a town called Signal Hill, located in the Panhandle of Texas. No need looking for it on a map because the only thing that exists there any more are a few crumbling foundations and some rusting pipes sticking out of the ground. It was founded in 1926, grew to 12,000 people in four years and was completely gone in four more. The last building standing, the old bank, was torn down and the bricks salvaged in 1934.

It was founded by a land promoter who envisioned a place for the new oil rich from the Texas Panhandle to build their mansions, as he had seen in Signal Hill, California. However, greed got the best of him and the $200 lots ended up being 25' wide by 80' deep. Pretty hard to build much of a mansion on a lot that size. The only thing the buyers had going for them was they got the mineral rights when they bought the lot. Most of the people who bought lots started drilling for oil even before they set up a tent or built a shack to live in. When all the holes started coming in as dusters, they just picked up and left. My dad put our two room house on skids and dragged it three miles with a team of mules to a section of land he had bought for a dollar an acre a mile east of Stinnett. I was one of six members in the smallest class to ever graduate from Stinnett High School.

I learned to fly while in high school and soloed an airplane on my 16th birthday. I was born just three days too late to be drafted for WW-II which put me at the top of the list for Korea. I wanted to fly but couldn't pass the eye test so based on a degree in journalism, they put me in the engineers building runways. I was drafted into the army as a private and came out two years later as a Master Sergeant.

I married Freda, the light and love of my life and together we have three wonderful and successful kids; two doctors and a legal eagle. After getting our kids well on their ways in life, I decided to leave the pressure of a management position with a major retail company and celebrated my 50th birthday by retiring. This would allow me to do the things I had always wanted; to write, fly airplanes and gliders and travel. In retrospect, while I don't make the money I could have had I stayed with the company, I feel better and know that I'm far healthier than I was 20 years ago. In the process, I've been able to travel to many places in the world, had between 150 and 200 magazine articles published along with six books and we truly enjoy life.

I bought a bicycle to use as transportation so I wouldn't have to move our motorhome when it was parked and found just how much fun it was to rediscover what I had lost the day I became old enough to get a driver's license. My touring bike has carried me to many interesting places but mostly it has brought me into contact with some of the nicest people around. No longer do I associate friends with what they do for a living but for our common interest.

I try to live life to the fullest and my motto is not to leave anything in the glass when I die.

--- Jim



© Spencer Creek Press, West By Northwest 2000-2002 All Rights Reserved unless otherwise noted.

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West By Northwest



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