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Voices of Spencer Creek Valley Life on the Forty-fifth Parallel
More Heroes and HellionsBy Ryan Ramon
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I am blessed with an ever-widening circle of interesting people
in my life. Recently, I had lunch with one of my heroes, Lisa Quiring, a bright,
beautiful woman I know as an International Red Cross disaster volunteer. She has
gone into floods and hurricanes in Oklahoma, Florida, Puerto Rico to help her fellow
humans in distress. I admire her. She has been brave, leaving her family and home
to serve in uncomfortable and stressful situations. Her family was rightly proud
of her and her special, occasional, and essential work. It takes a rare person to
reach out to strangers in their time of need, to see and seek community beyond comfort
zones.
We met at a little coffee shop/diner near her workplace, a place out of time that
has been there for forty years, an old-timer in this fast age. Patrons were business
men, a doctor who looked like she was waiting for the non-smoking lunch period to
be over, families with young kids. We had a good, made from scratch meal, reasonably
priced.
But Lisa didn't want to talk about her adventures as a Red Cross volunteer but about
another issue altogether. One that took more guts to deal with than disaster relief
work. Teen drug use. Lisa slowly became aware that while she was far away helping
others cope with the aftermath of storms, a storm of another kind was brewing in
her own home. It became a tempest and almost blew her and her son Nathan away. And
who was there to rescue them? To help them put their lives back together? The public
safety net to help parents catch their children has many gaping holes. Lisa believes
that people need more openness to talk about the problems of teen drug and alcohol
abuse and that more public resources need to be developed and funded to help parents
cope with out-of-control kids. Here is a summary of the story she shared with West
By Northwest readers so that others may find hope.
Nate's father died when Nate was four months old. For awhile Lisa was his solo parent.
Then he had a stepfather but he may have always felt that early loss. For most of
their lives, Lisa was the stay at home parent until Nate's third grade when Lisa
left to do disaster relief work for a few weeks at a time. Whatever the cause, like
some "alienated" pre-adolescent people, Nate developed serious behavior
problems. At first it was small but troubling stuff. Things missing. Classes missed.
At first he was only in trouble with his mom, not the school.
When he was in sixth grade (middle school), Lisa found out he was using drugs while
cleaning his dresser drawers. Jefferson Middle School was great, according to Lisa,
doing all they could to help. "Very supportive". They found out which student
was dealing the marijuana and expelled him. Later, in Churchill High School, the
counselor, Scott Fergerson was "awesome" but he could not turn Nate around.
Soon her son was falling behind in his school work, becoming truant.
"Hanging out with his 'friends', who all drank and used drugs, became THE most
important thing in his life", Lisa explained. He began to exhibit "classic
addictive behaviors". For her son, marijuana had the same effect as heroin in
terms of the harm. Nate grew apathetic, sneaked out of bed to wander the streets
at night, stole money and jewelry from his family, and dropped out of school altogether
-- he'd be gone for days. Lisa called the private, non-profit social service agency
for troubled teens, Looking Glass. Looking Glass offered a diagnosis and placed Nate
in an outpatient counseling program. Nate would not cooperate or show up. Or when
he rarely did, he would slip away and not come home. There was no room in the Looking
Glass' residential program, the one and only one left in the area. The others programs
had folded up their tents due to complications with HMO insurance benefits not covering
residential drug treatment.
Lisa asked the police to intervene. "Did you know there is no prevention law
in Oregon (and many states) about 'running away' from home? The police can't pick
them up. It is not a crime for an under-age child to be out there alone. How is a
parent to regain control or be responsible when the law can't help?" Lisa exclaimed.
"Never mind all the illegal drug usage". The police did nothing. (The current
law was meant to protect kids from abusive situations.)
She tried Lane County's different programs, searching, always searching for help.
One day she called the Foster Parent Program office and asked what they did for out-of-control
kids, where did they refer such a kid? "They thought I was joking...that I could
consider them as a resource, since they were so overwhelmed. But I was desperate
for help!"
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"A year before the Spring Creek Lodge school, I put Nate into
Catherine Freer Wilderness Trek . It is three weeks on intense outdoor therapy. They
are out of Albany, Or. At that time, I thought three weeks would do the trick. He
smoked pot the same night he came back home. I guess I knew in my heart I had to
do something, but again, I had to come up with the strength to send him away. Northwest
Youth Corp. is a 4 week work camp for kids. (Kids are 'mainstreamed' with non-troubled
youth.) Parents pay to have their kid in this program, but then they earn a wage
for working 6 hours each day. Nate did some reforestation and lots of great things
out doors. I sent him to this program, because I was having anxiety over him being
in trouble all summer!"
The final crisis came unexpectedly when Nate passed out at a friend's house. The
friend's mother, a nurse, getting home at midnight, could not awaken him. She called
911. The paramedics came, did medical aid, but did not take Nate to the hospital.
He survived, but obviously, something drastic had to change for the better or Nate
would end up dead.
One day in a doctor's waiting room, Nate's grandmother saw an ad for a kind of program
that we all hear about but know very little. She saw an ad for Spring Creek Lodge
for Boys, in Thompson Falls, Montana run by the W.W.A.S.P. (World Wide Association
of Specialty Programs). They called 1-800-TEEN HELP. After checking them out, Lisa
decided they were the only program she could find that might help her save the life
of her boy. It costs $3000 a month including therapy. They have back-up support for
families that Lisa calls a "lifeline". They have affiliates in Ensenada,
Baja California, in Tranquility Bay, Jamaica, and other intriguing places. Programmatically
related to the "wilderness schools" theory, W.W.A.S.P.'s schools are various
"tough love" programs that make a Marine Corps. boot camp sound like a
Club-Med resort. Strong on behavior modification techniques, the school bears little
semblance to most schools, although they are accredited.
A resident student must earn every basic little "privilege" we take
for granted. Slowly the student "earns" back the behaviors of every day
freedoms. The harsh strictures are intended to retrain the behaviors of the out-of-control
child, demonstrating that every action, large or small, has a consequence and to
focus the student on the achievements of gaining "privileges", instead
of thinking about past life or addictive behaviors. In the beginning, to simply stand,
a student must ask permission. To go do something, he must ask permission. The points
add up to privileges, such as watching a movie or playing ping-pong, or a visit in
Thompson Falls with family. Or home. If a student complains about the food, all condiments
are withdrawn. A student must earn a 100 points to get back condiments. What is the
point of that? Food appreciation. She chose the Montana school as the best one for
Nate.
I asked Lisa how she got Nate to Spring Creek Lodge. The school suggested a private
escort service which specializes in such cases. It was almost a year ago. They came
before dawn. For once, Nate was home. A couple of men gently shook him awake saying
in low tones, "Come on, buddy. Your Mom loves you. You need to go away for a
while and get some help."
The sleepy surprise factor helped. Nate got in the car with the escort men. He seemed
to understand and accept the situation. He looked out to Lisa. "Mom, will I
be home for Halloween? ...Thanksgiving? ...New Years?"
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Maybe, because I too had some early problems similar to Nate's, I can relate to his story. Sometimes miracles do happen. Sometimes they don't. Some of the boys and girls I grew up with and doped with didn't make it. I eventually did hit heroin - I couldn't afford a private clinic. There was no public health or drug treatment help except government sanctioned methadone, another drug. I cold- turkeyed it with the help of my family. I almost didn't make it. Nowadays there are more resources out there but still not enough for kids like Nate.
It is up to the public in part to support the public sector that is there and make the safety net stronger. The so-called War on Drugs' federal policy has the wrong end of the stick. In my opinion, the government should make residential Drug Treatment for all ages the number one priority.
The educational prevention programs must stay in the schools and be credible. There must be counseling available. Leave Colombia to the Colombians to solve. (See McIntyre's report on Plan Colombia.) Until we reduce the "demands" of the illicit market here at home and save lives in the process, there will always be a "supply".
There are many ballot measures in Oregon this November that if passed could further weaken the public schools and their budget. (See Voter's Alert - Letters to the Editor section.) Our votes do count, maybe in ways we don't realize. My son's grade school had no nurse, no counselor, no librarian. The parent volunteers tried to compensate for the lack of budget. Every school, even elementary school, needs a counselor.
And what if there were publicly funded programs here in the Pacific Northwest that could actually handle the thousands of kids who need residential help for drug treatment ? What if the existing programs like Looking Glass received enough funding to meet the real needs? Sometimes miracles do happen.
Lisa Quiring's e-mail is Lisaq.y2k @aol.com
You may write Ryan at ryan_r@westbynorthwest.org